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2 steps forward and 1 step back (or 2 or 3) August 25, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — ryangrace11q @ 12:10 am

I feel like Ryan’s taken a step backwards recently and I’m bummed.  We’ve had quite a few busy weeks and I think it’s taken a toll on her.  And Charlie.  And me.  Katie’s still my rock and as always is keeping us all afloat.

The end of July and August went a little something like this:

1. Two friends of ours pass away.

2. Ryan gets the stomach flu followed by a nice, snotty, head cold (which she shares with her sister).

3. We go to Hilton Head and Ryan has to sit in her car seat for hours on end during the very long drive to and from.  She is generally an angel and rarely complains so we think she has a good vacation.

4. The girls start daycare at the new place.  Charlie has a rough time in the mornings and it takes Ryan a little time to get used to it – plus she’s barfing after every bottle.

5. Ryan gets a double ear infection (the second in a matter of weeks).  Although we know she feels shitty and is spitting up A LOT, she still tries to keep a smile on her face.

6. I go back to work (my 16th year of teaching thank you very much).

7. Ryan starts teething hard-core.

8. Charlie can’t poop so we have to give her multiple enemas and X-lax so she’ll poop everyday.

9. Ryan starts to have more and more difficulty eating.  She won’t finish bottles, she doesn’t like table food in her mouth, and she’s gagging and barfing more.

We decided that we should start feeding therapy again.  Katie took Ryan today.  She got more ideas to help with desensitizing Ryan’s gag reflex and getting her used to different textures in her mouth.  We also might start to give Ryan more bottles with less formula in each bottle so she can get her required 18 ounces a day.  It’s just a guessing game at this point and it’s so frustrating.  I feel like we are so overwhelmed with things we should be doing with her that some days I don’t want to do anything.  Prevacid, antibiotics, infant massage, corner chair, summer seat, bumbo, no bumbo, kinesiotape, eye patch, more formula, less formula, butter in her food, blow in her face so she doesn’t hold her breath and on and on…. and then there’s soft poop, hard poop, poop squirt, blow outs, poop that looks red because of the antibiotic, overnight poop that’s glued to her ass in the morning… and don’t forget gag, spit-up, barf, puke, vomit, out the nose trickle, and the projectile.  I feel like a jerk right now complaining about these things when I look back up at number 1 on my list.  Two of our friends passed away.  And we still have Ryan.  But I’m not going to lie.  It’s kind of hard.  Especially when I feel like she’s not improving.  But I have to remember that she has improved so much in the last 11 months.  I guess I just thought she would have been farther along by now.  But she’s so sweet and gives us the best smiles every day – no matter how crappy she feels.  And of course Charlie loves her to pieces.  I’m just ready for another step forward.  Or 2 or 3.

Sitting in her corner seat.

First time with her toes in the South Carolina sand.

Out for a stroll in Hilton Head.

The girls with their goldfish “Nemo” celebrating his 1st birthday.

He’s older than Ryan!


One Response to “2 steps forward and 1 step back (or 2 or 3)”

  1. Candy Says:

    My Dear Liz and Kate!

    #1 Sorry for your loss.
    #2 – #7, and #9. I’ve never felt more humbled yet SO inspired by such a little person. You Go Ryan Girl!! Her journey warms my heart!
    #8 Charlie….I feel ya sista’!! My dad bought jar prune baby food for me until I was in high school (yes, high school!!) to “assist” with this very issue. I have pitted prune snacks in the pantry to this day.
    Oops…wait…#6…Thank you Liz for all your service as a teacher!

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